Open Letter to my new Sista!

I found out about you 20 years ago and I loved you instantly. You opened a whole new insight to the woman whom we shared a womb. She took her knowledge of you to the grave, but God, in his awesome wisdom, let us hear the news. There were more of us, not just 5 but 6. A missing piece to our family mosaic. I5 years, that's how many years I spent looking for you. Searching, writing, talking, praying, begging for just a morsel. So many possibilities, same city, same day, wrong sex. Same sex, wrong day, same city. Message Boards, adoption search engines, hospital records, road blocks, road blocks, road blocks. Then came the call, Carmen, our sister had made a connection with SOMEONE! Someone in the know. I cried, and cried, and cried. My daughters thought someone was dead. Carmen thought(a most nurses would) I would need sedation. Tell me! Everything! Where is she! Who is she! Whats her name! Telll MMEEE! TELLLL MMMMEEEEE!!!! TEEEEELLLLL MMMMEEEEE!!!! I can wait, me hardly. I want what I want when I want it and I WANT MY SISTER!!!! Carmen says about three weeks, court petitions, permission, yada yada yada! How ridiculous, we are all adults. We all agreed to meet. WE WANT OUR JERRY SPRINGER MOMENT!!! Let me just say this:

• I am so excited to meet you.
• I am here for you, forever.
• You are beautiful.
• I will do my best to be patient, to answer your questions, respect your wishes(ask our sisters and brother how hard that one will be for me)

You are a gift I will treasure. Thank you for opening yourself to meeting us. Thank you for giving us answers to questions that we thought we might not ever get to ask. Thank you for giving us a chance to see our Mom in abstract again. Thank you for giving us a reason to open the Mom dialogue again. The opportunity to remember the great things about her, not just that shes dead. That she laughed and hugged and sang. That she loved you enough to let you go and that God loved us each enough to bring you to us again. That we are family, that we will become a family, with the spirit of our beautiful brown haired, blue eyed mother angel as our nucleus.

The signs of Aging

The signs of Aging, when do we finally succumb to them, when do we stop thinking we look like this person or that person? When do we finally realize, WE ARE OLD? I'll tell you when. WHEN WE, THINKING HOW FUN THIS WILL BE BE, BUY OURSELVES A STUPID DIGITAL CAMERA FOR OUR BIRTHDAY! What was I thinking, did I not know how bad it had gotten or was I in denial? Baggy eyes, blothy skin, double, triple chin, thinning hair? Who is this old lady that I keep taking pictures of. Surley not me. Aging is a scary thing. Emotionally and physically. I moan when I step oput of bed in the morning. Not for need of coffee, but because I get this terrible pain in the heel og my Left foot. I dread the cold (I get stiff) hate the heat( hard to breathe) I can clearly remember not too long ago never feeling any of the affects of age. They say there is hope for me, it's not too late to turn it around. Tomorrow I'll give it a try. (If it's not too cold.)

My New Camera

I bought myself a digital camera. The pictures arent great but I am working on them. Stay tuned for more images to come.